A heart-shaped cookie broken into pieces, symbolizing the impact of betrayal and the challenge of rebuilding trust.

Understanding the Mistrust/Abuse Schema

The ability to trust shapes how we connect, love, and feel safe in the world. But for some, trust doesn’t come easily. Instead, there’s a deep fear that others will let them down, take advantage, or cause harm. Even when kindness is shown, doubts creep in: What’s their real motive? When will they hurt me?

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Two hands stretching towards each other but not touching, symbolizing emotional distance and the fear of abandonment.

The Abandonment Schema: Why Fear of Loss Shapes Relationships

The fear of abandonment can deeply affect how we interact with others and shape our relationships. For many, it often develops early in life and is shaped by experiences of inconsistency, emotional distance, or unexpected loss. These experiences leave a lasting imprint on how we perceive security and connection. As we grow, these early wounds

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Close-up of a woman's face with a shadow of two fingers across her cheek, symbolizing emotional tension or trauma healing.

Healing Through EMDR: Understanding the Emotional Blocks of Clean Pain Vs Dirty Pain

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a powerful tool for processing trauma. But sometimes, emotional blocks can make it feel like you’re stuck, unable to move forward. One concept that can help make sense of these blocks is the difference between dirty pain and clean pain – a distinction that can make all the

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A woman’s hands forming a heart shape, symbolizing emotional connection and well-being.

Understanding Core Emotional Needs and Schema Therapy

We all know how important it is to take care of our physical needs – things like food, water, and shelter are essential for survival. But just as we need physical nourishment, we also require emotional nourishment to truly thrive. From the moment we are born, we begin seeking emotional support – first from our

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Woman holding her face in her hands, expressing anxiety and overwhelm.

Living Beyond Constant Worry and Catastrophizing: Understanding the Vulnerability to Harm Schema

Do you often find yourself fearing the worst, even in everyday situations? Are you constantly on edge, anticipating something bad is going to happen? This persistent worry could be linked to the Vulnerability to Harm Schema, a common pattern that leaves individuals feeling chronically unsafe. Here, we’ll explore what the Vulnerability to Harm Schema is,

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A neutral-toned sofa chair in a minimalist room, symbolizing a therapy space.

Schema Therapy vs Traditional CBT: What Sets Them Apart?

As a Clinical Psychologist, one of the questions I often get from clients is how Schema Therapy differs from traditional Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). While both approaches aim to help individuals overcome challenges and lead more fulfilling lives, their methods and focus vary significantly. Let’s delve into these two therapeutic modalities to uncover the differences

Understanding Maladaptive Schemas: How Core Beliefs Shape Our Emotional and Behavioral Patterns

What Are Schemas and How Do They Form?

Maladaptive schemas are deeply ingrained, negative patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that often develop during childhood and affect adult behaviour. These schemas influence how we view ourselves, others, and the world around us. Understanding maladaptive schemas is a cornerstone of Schema Therapy, a valuable therapeutic approach that helps unpack and address long-standing emotional struggles.

New years resolution

New Year’s Resolutions – Setting Goals Without Setting Yourself Up for Failure

As the calendar turns over to a new year, it’s almost a ritual for many to write a list of resolutions… Lose weight… Get organised… Spend more time with family. These aspirations often come with a surge of motivation, but let’s face it: many resolutions fizzle out by February. Are New Year’s resolutions inherently bad,

Conversations at Christmas

Silent Nights? Managing Difficult Conversations at Christmas

A Guide to Navigating Tricky Topics and Maintaining Harmony The holiday season is a time for joy, connection, and celebration, but it can also bring its share of challenges, particularly when navigating difficult conversations with loved ones. Whether it’s clashing political views, unresolved family tensions, or differing opinions on how to spend the holidays, these

Nurturing Your Progress: Strategies to Sustain Therapy Gains and Prevent Relapse

Introduction: The Garden of Your Mind Imagine your mind as a garden. In therapy, you’ve learned to recognise, understand, and tackle the “weeds” – negative thoughts, unhelpful behaviours, and distressing emotions. With time and care, you’ve cultivated “flowers” — positive habits, self-compassion, and resilience. But, just like in any garden, weeds have a tendency to