As the calendar turns over to a new year, it’s almost a ritual for many to write a list of resolutions… Lose weight… Get organised… Spend more time with family. These aspirations often come with a surge of motivation, but let’s face it: many resolutions fizzle out by February.
Are New Year’s resolutions inherently bad, or are we simply approaching them in a way that sets us up for failure? Let’s unpack the psychology of resolutions and explore how we can use this opportunity for real growth.
Are New Year’s Resolutions Doomed to Fail?
Studies suggest that only about 8% of people stick to their New Year’s resolutions. This surprising statistic raises the question: why do so many fail? According to Daniel Pink, author of Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us and The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, our traditional approach to motivation often misses the mark. In The Power of Regret, Pink argues that reflecting on past regrets can be a powerful tool for future goal-setting. By understanding what we wished we had done differently, we can set resolutions that align with our deeper values and avoid repeating patterns that lead to dissatisfaction. This, combined with intrinsic motivation—the desire to do something because it’s inherently rewarding—creates a stronger foundation for success.
When we set resolutions that feel more like obligations (“I should exercise more”) rather than aligned with our values and interests, we’re less likely to stick with them. Furthermore, resolutions often lack specificity and structure. Goals like “lose weight” are too vague and overwhelming to inspire consistent action.
The Regret of Unrealized Goals
Some people shy away from setting resolutions entirely, fearing the sting of unmet goals. This avoidance can stem from a mindset that Dr. Joe Dispenza, author of Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, calls “living in survival mode.” Dispenza explains that our brains are wired to avoid discomfort, including the emotional discomfort of failure or regret. By not setting goals, we think we’re protecting ourselves from disappointment, but this can lead to stagnation and missed opportunities for growth.
The key is to reframe goals not as rigid destinations but as flexible, evolving markers of progress. When we allow room for imperfection and adjustment, the pressure diminishes, and the focus shifts to growth rather than performance.
Motivation: A By-Product of Action
One of the most common misconceptions about goals is that we need to feel motivated to act. In reality, action often precedes motivation. The key lies in the power of small, consistent actions to build momentum. For instance, if your goal is to exercise more, start by committing to five minutes a day. As you establish the habit, your brain’s reward system kicks in, creating a sense of accomplishment that fuels further action.
James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, underscores the importance of starting small. He advises focusing on “identity-based habits” rather than outcome-based goals. Instead of saying, “I want to lose 10 kilograms,” frame your goal as, “I am someone who takes care of their health.” This subtle shift taps into your sense of self and strengthens your commitment.
The Power of Writing and Visualization
While action is critical, planning and visualising your goals can significantly enhance their effectiveness. Writing down goals, and creating visual representations such as vision boards helps to clarify intentions and solidify commitment. Dr. Joe Dispenza’s research highlights how visualising success activates neural pathways associated with achieving the desired outcome. This primes the brain to recognise and seize opportunities aligned with the goal.
When writing goals, make them SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. For example, instead of “I want to get fit,” try “I will run for 20 minutes three times a week for the next month.” This approach provides a clearer and more measurable benchmark to track progress.
Creating Resolutions That Work for You
Here are some practical strategies to create resolutions that set you up for success:
1. Align Goals with Your Values
Ask yourself why a goal matters to you. Is it something you genuinely care about, or are you feeling pressured by societal expectations? Goals that resonate with your core values are more likely to stick.
Tip: Keep asking yourself “and why is this important to me?”, and repeat this question until you feel you have reached the core motivator for your goal.
2. Start Small
Break your resolution into manageable steps. For instance, if your goal is to read more, start with 10 pages a day instead of committing to an ambitious number of books.
3. Create a Visual Representation
Writing down your goals or creating visual representations, such as vision boards, can make a huge difference in staying committed. Having a tangible reminder of what you’re working toward helps keep your intentions clear and your focus steady. Whether it’s a list pinned to your wall or a board filled with inspiring images, these tools act as a visual cue to reinforce your goals every day.
4. Track Progress
Use a journal or app to monitor your progress. Tracking not only keeps you accountable but also provides a sense of accomplishment as you tick off milestones.
5. Embrace Imperfection
Allow yourself to stumble without abandoning the goal altogether. Progress is rarely linear, and setbacks are part of the process.
6. Celebrate Wins
Acknowledge and celebrate small victories along the way. Positive reinforcement helps to sustain motivation and build confidence.
The Bottom Line
New Year’s resolutions are not inherently bad. When approached thoughtfully, they can be powerful tools for personal growth and transformation. By aligning goals with your values, starting small, and embracing imperfection, you can set resolutions that inspire action rather than dread.
As the saying goes, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
